Today Was A Great Day!

Okay, so I wrote an entire posting, clicked to preview it . . . and . . . nothing! It was gone. No error message, no clicking the Back button to recover it, just gone, dissappeared, vanished! This fits right in with the rest of my day.

Let me begin by stating that I have been a bit stressed out lately because I can't seem to find my passion. My job/career as a Database Manager is not doing it for me spiritually. I aspire to be TOO MANY things to become great at ONE. In the past 3 years I have considered becoming a hair stylist, architect, lawyer, overseas aid worker in an impoverished country, eBay Powerseller, stay at home mom, etc. I began my college education with a focus on pharmacy, changed to international business, changed again to just business, changed again to accounting, took EMT training and Oracle Developer/DBA training, and eventually ended up at computer info. systems. I'm a smart cookie, can catch on quickly and usually excel at most things, however, after a while I tend to become very bored and loose my focus, which is where I am now. I am so unfocused currently that I totally forgot about my daughter's pre-school field trip today, and the fact that she needed a brown bag lunch, as she usually eats the school lunch. Today we were running late and her class was preparing to leave for the trip right as we were arriving. I had to run, as in physically, to CVS, buy a lunchable, of which they only had ham and swiss (I knew she wouldn't eat the swiss) and bologna and chedder (ewww). I settled for the bologna because I knew she would eat it, a rasberry Dasani, and a box of Fig Newtons that she could share. While running out of the store, I tripped on the cuff of my wide-legged black and white pin-striped pants and nearly broke my ass in the dag on CVS! At that point, the cuff of my right pants leg was torn and no longer a cuff, just a mess. I ran, physically, to get the lunchable back to the lil girly at school, and arrived just as her class was walking out of the back door to board the bus. After handing the CVS bag of random edible items that I had purchased to the girly's teacher as she was in-step, I headed back to CVS to purchase a sewing kit to fix the mess that I had made of my pants leg. That's when I remembered that the matches that I had received with the cigarettes I bought (I already know, I shouldn't smoke) were still in the bag that I gave to my 3 year old daughter's teacher. I was sure that the teacher would think I was insane (or on something) for packing a book of matches with my daughter's lunch after totally forgetting about her field trip. On top of that, I did not do any laundry over the weekend, for the second week in a row. The lil girly officially ran out of uniforms as of yesterday. Her dad had given her a bagel topped with jelly for breakfast and she was very successful at getting jelly all over her uniform, calling for a quick change into her last clean uniform before heading out of the door. But, because I can't seem to focus on ANYTHING, I forgot to do the laundry so that clean uniforms would be ready for this morning. So, the dad dressed her this morning in a burgundy/pink/etc striped long sleeve cotton shirt w/ cargo jeans that have pockets trimmed in white cotton eyelet - imagine my horror at seeing this ensemble as we are headed out the door 30 minutes behind schedule with no time for a mommy-fashion-fix. Oh well!

Later on that day, I walked about 20 blocks to a client site (it was a nice day and I didn't feel like getting into a stale taxi) only to arrive and be informed that the person I needed to see was in the middle of a luncheon on behalf of secretary day and was not able to tear herself away from the lunch gathering to see me for the 15 minutes of total time that I would have needed her for. Therefore, I could not complete the task that I had gone there to do and so I just said what the hell and hiked it the 20 blocks back to my office. On the upside, I stopped into Filene's Basement on the way back and purchased a pair of much needed Michael Kors sunglasses (the sunglasses were needed, the Michael Kors was a bonus) that I really like for very cheap. For some reason I have been feeling Michael Kors lately.

Me and the girly commute home via Metro every day. Imagine how that striped shirt/cargo jean ensemble looked after the end my my girly's 8 hr day. Let's just say she played very hard today, lol! The girly is very outgoing, typically engaging several fellow Metro riders in conversation during our commute home while mommy is tired, not in a social mood and mainly trying to stay incognegro on the ride home. Today, she feels like singing. She belted out a loud, echoey, The Ants Go Marching One by One and other tunes during our entire trip. When we finally arrive at our destination, daddy had not yet arrived. We then spent the entire 25 minutes waiting for him with her wailing loudly because I made her sit absolutely still after she got very sassy with me for stopping her from eating a daffodil, and me ignoring the crying because she well deserved the rump tapping that she received for her behaviour!

When I finally get around to the business of the laundry at 10 PM, guess what, no more detergent, lol!

I have GOT to get my head in the game!

Yep, Today was a GREAT Day! Gotta Lov it.

Poet Mode - TOMORROW

I am really shy about sharing my writings. But this is a blog, so what the hell!

Tomorrow - composed 6/6/05

I saw a movie about emotional, societal starvation
Set in a city rout with maniacal, ironic devastation
I closed my eyes to shield my soul from the impending invasion
But I fell victim to the plot, was hypnotized by second hand persuasion

I turned away and tried to run from visions so hardcore
I couldn’t move, I was trapped like I had never been before
My heart was thumping, mind was racing, Newport burned down to the core
My fear subsiding, but courage hiding, burning flames rising from the floor

Is this hell, have I been beamed into a nightmare all too real
I cry for help, holler in vain at blank faces so concealed
No one responds or lifts a finger and despair is all I feel
My legs are weak, suddenly I fall and come crashing to a kneel

I drop my head, and lift my hands heavily up to my eyes
My head is heavy, vision blurry, I blink but can not cry
I am cut but do not bleed, I realize I am bone dry
There’s nothing left after spent years of struggling to get by

I’ve cried a river, mourned a lake, paced around the world and back
There was no boat or powered vehicle to help out with the trek
There was no partner or helping hand offering to take up the slack
I traveled solo and used the earth to provide whatever I may have lacked

I’ve washed my face with poisoned water, scrubbed my body with a branch
I’ve eaten scraps of nuts and berries and have survived an avalanche
I healed my wounds with bark and herb growing from a green aromatic patch
I’ve trenched through acid rain and storm drains and habitual circumstance

I lift my head and realize that all this time I had been sleeping
My pillow’s wet, my collar’s drenched from 4 hours of non-stop weeping
I lift my head and pinch myself to make sure I am not still dreaming
I get up to face another day of ghetto life but still believing.

I believe a time will come when our babies are not so often mourned
When our lamp posts and stoops are not teddy bear and RIP adorned
When we can party and not be innocent bystanders of hood pride scorned
When our faces aren’t plastered all over the news, a new day has been born.

let us all declare that day tomorrow!

Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself . . My Name is . .

I'm fresh off of TnT Carnival . . .well, not that fresh I guess since it was a whole 2 months ago! But I have not yet recovered. . . fully. Only now am I getting over my inability to listen to any other music except Soca. Worst yet, I am already planning and working toward TnT Carnival 2008.Yes, it was THAT much fun for this TnT Carnival newbie. Thank goodness for fellow blogger SaucyDiva's Trinidad Carnival Diary to help me get through. I don't think I could have come down off that tabanca without you Saucy! Those who haven't been are not understanding!

So where do I begin? As I go along ,my posts will be more focused, I'm sure, but for now I'll start by sharing the random things that are on my mind at the moment . . .

>I am loving Michael Kors, Betsey Johnson, Isabella Fiore, Juicy Couture and Cynthia Rowley handbags right now. I have an addiction to designer purses and I'm currently shopping for a new piece to add to my collection. It has to be funky and edgy yet tailored and sophisticated. This is not just mere shopping, this is research, as a good designer bag can be a sizable investment that must be nurtured and cared for so that it will stand the test of time. Now, please believe, I have a 16yo, a 6yo and an almost 4yo, so there is no $3k, nor even $1500 bag in my horizon, as that would not be a smart money move (but oh the temptation)!. However, once I find that bag that I MUST have, I will seek out a bargain, whether it be eBay, etc., I will get what I want! And I am not above making a trip to Canal Street if the bag is truely unattainable for yours truely! The boy does not understand the need to spend hundreds of dollars on handbags so I had to break it down to him like this - You will spend $500 on a video game system that will severly depreciate when replaced by newer versions in a few years time/my bag, if well taken care of, will retain a large portion of it's value over time and may become a vintage item, thereby increasing it's value, therefore, my bag is a more reasonable expense than his game system - viola!


>I like to take walks on the spur of the moment. I'll get up from my desk to make a quick run to the junk store next door to my building and decide, as I hit the door out of the building, that I'm going to take a stroll around the nearby park; therefore, my uniform for summer will be platforms and wedges, or any shoe that is both comfy AND cute. There is nothing worse than your feet screaming in agony and begging for relief!

>I've got to buy a laptop ASAP! I can't be up at midnight on a regular basis updating this thing!